:)

:), a photo by rajeev.choudhary on Flickr.

Maithon

Maithon, a photo by rajeev.choudhary on Flickr.

"Busy?" "No, sinking."

So more than a year, huh? The only handful of times I wrote were MBA essays. Uncreative, uncreated essays. And why, you would ask? I will be tempted to say, "Hey, I was busting my ass, preparing for CAT and other animals. There's only so much a man can do!" Busting my ass, really? Tata Steel is such a sweet organisation, it's almost gay. So there was no busting'. None.

Three- the number of books i read in the last 12 months. Shameful. So shameful that I was ashamed to tell the interviewers that my hobby was reading. Orwells and Marquezes were taken advantage of, but shameful it was. So, no reading, no writing. No shit in, no shit out.

34- inches almost my waist kissed. My cheeks were so swelled, one guy during our convocation wondered whether I was bit by some insect on my cheeks. No sport, no work. Degradation. Patan.

Zero- number of good movies watched.

Passions- Books. Movies. Sports. Photography.

Art is no shit in, no shit out. Books, movies, photography- I dumped them all. Words dumped me in return. All art forms are brethren. No shit in, no shit out.

Tips to get popular on facebook

How to get more 'likes' and 'comments' on facebook?

1. Keep changing your relationship status, even though you have been fucking single your whole worthless lives.

2. Copy a tweet. Paste it on your status. Not have a courtesy to mention the source. Who cars if you are a loser- you still have 37 likes and 23 comments, 11 of which are your own 'thank you's.

3. Put up statuses like "What do you like in me?" or "Write down your views on my sexual orientation here". Don't worry,

such status always get comments from people who will put similar status in future and expect you to comment.

4. Have a birthday. No, seriously. Change it once a year, and have two birthdays. You will find people don't remember shit, and they will copy and paste the previous wall post's wish every month, if you want.

5. Put up a picture which challenges your friends' intellectual prowess by calling upon them to perform the "hilarious" act of forming sentences like "I am a dumbfuck, because I was sexually abused as a child by the man who slept with my father" on the basis of your birthdays and your favorite color. Tag all 897 of your friends in the picture.

6. If you are a guy, change your sex. Then you can do/write/post shit and expect all your desperate guy friends liking and commenting and hoping that in some way it will lead them to your bed.

7. Put smartass posts/ status/ notes where you make fun of facebook users, and pretend to be of higher intellect than them. And it helps if you put a bit of sex in your posts. Works for me.

7 most irritating writing habits on Facebook

1. LoLing: LOL in itself is not very lovable, adding -ing to it makes it execrable. Plus it is grammatically incorrect. Expand it and it becomes Laughing Out Lauding. Makes sense?

2. Rocx: Rocx (roxx or rokx, for that matter) with a generous helping of the exclamation mark (!) seems to be in vogue since the Orkut days. It does not rock.

3. Didn't + past form of verb: Eg didn't saw. Go back to school, soon.

4. If YoU LikE to wRitE lIke THis, yOu aRE ProBaBLy alREady hiDDen fRoM mY NewS FeEd.

5. "LoLzzzzzz" or "Awesssoooomeeeee" or such like: I expect it from girls, but I judge you if you happen to be a guy and perform this act of sodomy on English.

6. Status updates which have the link 'see more': Dude, if God had ordained you to be a writer, you'd have been much less of a loser. Keep your shit to yourself. Most of us don't care.

7."mah", "f9", "ty": If you were so busy to not have time to write "my", "fine" and "thank you", you wouldn't have been on facebook! And how is "f9" "fine"? Shakespeare turns in his grave, really.

His right to education?

Wayworn